Parental Tyranny

By George Merlo Pallath

The biggest blessing for a child is to have loving parents . Parents create the proper environment for the child to grow up. Just like a promoter promotes a company, a farmer preserves and protects his plants, parents provide protection, security, love and understanding for their children. True, parenting is a great challenge. But the tragedy is most of the parents have no idea about parenting. They just follow the crowd, try to emulate their parents, peers and friends. The power and influence of the parents in shaping the whole outlook and mind of the child cannot ever be underestimated. They have a huge responsibility to bring up the next generation. The future of the society lies in their hands. We are taught all subjects in schools and colleges. We are also taught to obtain jobs, make money. But nobody teaches us how to be a good parent. Unfortunately knowingly or unknowingly, these parents who are clueless about parenting, about bringing up the child, having their own false, pre conditioned prejudices and views, do a bad job of parenting. For most of the ills of society, the root cause is the conditioning that these people underwent from their parents, how they bring up their children, how they mold the very mind and outlook of their kids.

Recently I saw a poster of a pathetic child on which is written “ I was born an atheist, until someone started telling me lies”.  Right from the infancy of their children, in all good faith, believing that they are doing what’s best for their children,  they label their children as Hindu, Christian , Muslim and starts to indoctrinate them. Filling up those fresh innocent minds with the conditioned views and prejudices of the parents. The fresh brand new uncluttered mind with endless, infinite power is thus conditioned and their young unpolluted mind is filled up with all kinds of beliefs, stories and trash. It is like putting in a lot of unwanted junk software into a brand new computer. Their originality and their capacity to see things in their true perspective are lost forever. They start to believe in all kinds of superstitions, they are taught to be afraid. They learn the meaning of “fear”. Thus these kids with infinite godly powers are limited, secured and sequestered into robotic clones of their parents. They are reduced into people with tunnel vision instead of the wide angle vision that they were born with.

Obesity is a major problem in all developed countries and even developing countries. It is becoming a major problem in Kerala also. The seeds of obesity are laid by the propensity of parents to over feed their children so that they look plump and cute during infancy. Overfeeding is the major cause for development of obesity in adulthood. In a cartoon the father exclaims “ Honey we are killing our kids” referring to over feeding. The parents must become aware of the problems of over feeding at an early age, its effects on the child’s health and its effects on their future.

After that, these children are inculcated to respect their elders, that the elders are always correct, wise  and unquestionable. True, there is nothing wrong in respecting their elders. But this puts some brakes on the children’s thought process. They are taught to unconditionally accept whatever that the elders say as true and correct. Elders are always right. Elders know best.   Questioning is discouraged. Past is more respected than the present. Past is revered. Present is considered inferior. Original thinking is discouraged. The net result is that the new generation’s capacity for original thinking, questioning and improving on the past is lost. They are reduced into a smaller clones of their mediocre elders. All the creativity and inquisitiveness of the fresh minds are suppressed. After 10 years of rigorous schooling, all are ironed out into mediocre, conditioned minds only good for repetition and memorizing. Instead of allowing them to soar like eagles over the clouds, they are confined to becoming mere parrots or mimicry artists.

Our society is witness to rising atrocities against women, rapes and sexual molestation are the order of the day. Where does the blame lie? It begins in each house,  Where the parents condition their children right from infancy to believe that males are superior. Females are inferior and the females must be subjugated. From a very young age itself, the males are taught to dominate, to see females as inferiors to be exploited as wives, maids, sex toys and always to be browbeaten. No wonder there are so much rapes and sexual molestation in our society. The parents are the first persons who should treat both males and females as equals and promote them as equals. Again the role of sex education. The new generation gets a wrong impression about sex through their exposure to porn movies and regular movies. The only sex education that they receive are from movies. Sex is taboo in the house and in schools. Nobody should talk about it. This has contributed in a large measure to these kids having a deformed  idea about sex and women. If we can create awareness  in all children that they are equal regardless of their gender, at least we can expect that the coming society will improve on the present. This is the only solution for all the atrocities against women.

Our society is full of engineers and MBA graduates running from pillar to post for getting employment. But for other skilled jobs there are plenty of vacancies. Everybody wants to be a white collar worker. Again the parents choose what subject their children should study and whether they should become an engineers or doctors or IAS or C.A or some other white collar jobs. These kids having absolutely no interest in math find themselves studying for engineering, no interest in biology studying for MBBS, etc. All other activities of the children are curtailed. They are programmed to just study, pore over the chemistry, physics and math subjects. No sports and games, No cultural activities. Parents go to great lengths to teach their kids to make them score the maximum marks, to get “A” grade, to get their wards admitted to prestigious institutions, all for their future. What future? A future of work ,work and more work. Make money, money and more money. The More the better, even at the cost of family life and health. It almost makes one wonder whether we are all born to study, work and make money only and nothing else. Is this world only worth for study, work and make money?

Our courts are overflowing with matrimonial & criminal cases. Cases in connection with atrocities against women, dowry related abuses, divorces, custody and maintenance. More than 20,000 cases of divorce pending in Kerala Courts alone. Where does the trouble lie? As a lawyer for more than 27 years and as a mediator for more than 6 years, I can personally vouch that parental pressure plays a huge part in the break up of marriages in India. In more than 60% of the divorce cases, the culprits are the parents on both sides, their personal egos, their over protection of their child, money, cash and kind. These parents unwittingly contribute a huge part in creating the havoc and breakups of marriages and personal relationships. Recently the Delhi High Court took judicial notice of this phenomenon and observed that “ parental intrusion is ruining young couples lives”.

All the above are just illustrations of the problems with over parenting, over protecting our kids, not allowing the children to grow up as free individuals. The next generation kids are forced to become clones of their parents. Follow the tradition, religion, petty casteism, outlook, beliefs and superstition. The next generation are programmed into narrow minded and singular tunnel vision individuals. Then how will there be improvement over the past? Only if we bring up the new generation as free thinking individuals, who are capable of thinking on their own, solving problems and being confident in their abilities, will there be real change in India. The immense responsibility must be understood by the parents before they choose to be parents. Let all parents understand this and allow their kids to grow unhindered and unconditioned by the outlook of their parents. The governments must also understand the importance of bringing up the next generation with a world view, unhindered by any conditioning. We should understand that if we want our society to improve, then the new generation must be allowed to grow up with a free mind and free outlook uncluttered by the conditioning of the past and burdened by all the “isms” of their parents. They must be allowed to choose their destiny,  to identify their individual interests and build up their lives as they want, not as extensions of their parents ego or fulfilling the unfulfilled dreams of their parents. Our society sorely need more liberal, cultured individuals without any conditioning and clutter in their minds that can see the world as it is rather than through their parents eyes. They must be allowed to soar on their own individual capabilities and talents. We must let their minds grow like the banyan tree and spread their branches wide. We need  more free thinkers, novelists, creative, inventive, original people, instead of just white collared robots. We must allow our kids to flower individually  in as diverse and brilliant manner as the valley of flowers in the Himalayas.

 

 

 

“Money Almighty”.

By George Merlo Pallath

“Money, Money ,Money, it’s a rich man’s world” so sang “Abba” the world famous pop band of the 80’.   Money makes the world go round and round. It seems that  we have built up a civilization that has a BIG fixation on money and wealth creation. In the final analysis, it is clear that all the problems faced by planet earth boils down to this one single factor of “wealth creation”.  People are swayed by glitzy cars, ostentatious show of wealth, power and money. It has reached such an extent, that all are assessed , valued on the basis of their show of wealth. Money controls everything. Money is the all powerful God. Money permeates every aspect of our life. In this mindless, senseless , blind rush for money, humans have forgotten themselves.

Human civilization has lost its way somewhere down the line. After the advent of agriculture some 60,000 years back, humans started the ownership thing. To possess plots of land, trees, plants and cattle. From this ownership, humans devised laws to retain their ownership or possession of their precious lands. Humans created money, coins, notes, banks, shares, companies and it goes on. The initial barter system matured into the banking system. Companies became legal entities and developed into huge wealth creation systems. They grew rapidly into all realms and now controls all aspects of human civilization. Multi National corporations decide every single aspect of our puny lives. Companies decide what we eat, what medicines we should take, what to wear, how to live, how to spend your holidays. The list is endless. They make money from your daily life, they make money when you exercise, when you relax, when you sleep, when you love, when you quarrel, there is no escape. We are conditioned into living robots.

Wealth creation became the primary concern of all corporations, companies and the human population. People has become so dependent on this system that there is no escape. Now from the time a person is born, he or she becomes part of the system and there is no escape. They will have to go through the education system, then find jobs, make money, spend money till they die. In the process, people have forgotten themselves. All have become slaves to the system. The system keeps on growing like a monster, feeding on itself. Like rats that keeps on going round and round, so that the machine produces energy, the humans have been reduced into mere work material.

It is clear that Humans have lost their way. They worship wealth, power and money. Religion is the biggest cash cow. Just look at the major religious places of worship. The idols have been covered in gold and diamonds, the roofs have been gold plated, Millions are spent on building monstrous edifices called churches, mosques and temples. All in the name of some unseen GOD. But it is not the Gods they are worshipping. They are actually worshipping wealth. God and Mamon cannot coexist. Humans have made them coexist on planet earth. But it is a false God and a very real MAMON that they are worshipping.  Money is evil. Money has made the whole people blind and hypnotized. The whole society is corrupted. This world is controlled by “mammon”.

So what is happening?  All the animals and birds live off the land, without money. Humans lived for millions of years as pick and choose hunter gatherers. It was only during the last 60,000 years, after the advent of agriculture, Humans have lost their innocence. They have lost their paradise. The work culture was set in motion.

Are we entitled to claim ownership over anything on planet Earth ? It’s a fallacy to think that any part of planet earth belongs to us either singly or together. It is also false to draw imaginary lines across lands and say that this is India and the other side is Pakistan. Planet earth belongs to all the species. The humans have no right  to exploit its natural resources, pollute the air, water and destroy eco systems.

Humans does not care for the environment, plants , animals and resources. They see money in everything. They cut down forests to make money, they kill animals to make money, they pollute the environment to make money, they create belief systems to generate money. Every body gets up in the morning, go to work, make some money then go to sleep, this is repeated for their entire lives. Some lucky ones become rich and powerful, they exploit the system and it is in their interest that the system is retained. Now a mere 6% of the global population controls 94% of the global wealth. This 6% dictates the life of the rest. They control the finances of the globe, pull the strings, make or break nations, create wars, poverty and destruction. All fuelled by our endless greed. It is said that 40% of the fish population has been depleted in the world’s ocean’s. More than 65% of the world’s  forests have been plundered and converted into waste lands. Animals, plants and trees have become extinct. Whole eco systems destroyed,  all in the name of wealth creation. We have polluted our cities, rivers, lands and even oceans. The whole world is on the brink of total chaos due to climate change and global warming. Still the greed for wealth drives the humans to kill, maim, exploit, destroy, wage wars, pollute. All in the name of money. Is wealth, money and power worth it? How much is enough? Who is going to pay for all the pollution ? meet the climate change ? save our planet from this greedy civilization dictated by wealth creation?

People spend their whole life struggling to make money. Nobody takes away anything. Pharaohs have tried, Chinese emperors have tried, many millionaires have tried and failed. Nobody takes anything away. So many empires have withered and died. Civilizations have come and gone. Whatever we throw at nature, nature throws it right back. We are all together hurtling through space at breakneck speed on the spaceship called Earth.

What is the future of our civilization? When all the fresh water has become polluted, when there is no fresh air to breathe, when whole land have become barren, when all the animals have become extinct, when all the fish in the world’s oceans have been depleted, will humans survive by breathing, drinking and eating their ill gotten wealth, bank notes, coins and plastic cards? Have we gone too far? Or is there still hope? It is high time to let common sense prevail. Let us all put our joint efforts together and come together to save the planet from the extinction of our civilization.  Let us stop ourselves from this death trap of wealth creation and start giving importance to the real world of the living planet. So that the next generation may live free of pollution and breathe fresh air, eat organic food, drink fresh water. The biggest wealth is fresh water, fresh air and fresh food. All this human created wealth will be nothing if there is no fresh air to breathe, fresh water and fresh food to relish.